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satire

  • Exclusive: Leaked copy of Donald Trump's speech at Masada

    Donald Trump is set to arrive in Israel in just under two weeks, and reportedly wants to deliver a major speech at Masada. A draft of the speech was leaked in advance, and we are pleased to publish it here. Obtained by Idan Landau What a tremendous view! I'm sure the Jews had a fantastic feeling when they chose this location 2,000 years ago, amazing location. And the fact that I’m speaking to you today in the place where the Jews defeated the Romanian Empire, it’s unbelievable. Look at where you are today, and where the Romanians are. Just look…

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  • Meet the Palestinian man arrested for being sarcastic on Facebook

    Anas Abudaabes, arrested for publishing satirical Facebook posts about people celebrating the wildfires in Israel, talks about how Israeli police tried to humiliate him, and explains why he insists on criticizing Arab society in Israel. Like Ludvik, the protagonist in Milan Kundera’s novel “The Joke,” Anas Abudaabes has discovered firsthand the problems that arise when a regime lacks a sense of humor or irony. Yet Abudaabes, unlike Ludvik, has not lost his own sense of humor, even following his Kafkaesque arrest last week for writing an ironic Facebook post lampooning those who celebrated the fires that were raging across Israel.…

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  • Oops? Israeli news site reports ISIS 'threat' to win Eurovision

    The song, 'Death to the West,' 'sounds quite thematically heavy, but I’m sure audiences the world over will love the uplifting chorus,' the all-too-serious report quotes an all-too-made-up Islamic State spokesperson saying. By Oren Persico Ahead of the Eurovision singing contest slated to take place in Sweden later this month, “NRG”, a major news outlets in Israel, published an article on “all of the fears” the popular televised event is raising in Israel, Europe and beyond. Among a number of very real threats listed in the article was one allegedly posed by ISIS. Not a threat to attack the singing…

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  • If you really love Israel, boycott Bob Dylan

    An Israeli college includes the recital of a Dylan song at its Memorial Day ceremony, but some students weren’t having it. We dig a little deeper and find that ‘the voice of a generation’ is more anti-Israel than you ever could have imagined. By John Brown* A small controversy erupted on Israel’s Memorial Day, threatening to shatter whatever remains of national unity in Israel following the most recent elections. The Memorial Day ceremony at Oranim College in northern Israel included a reading of Bob Dylan’s song, “Masters of War.” The song, it seems, caused a fair bit of resentment. Students…

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  • On being murdered because some people can’t take a joke

    If anything, satire in our society runs the risk of being too safe, of making its targets appear less dangerous than they really are. In cutting them down to size, satire sometimes humanizes as much as it disparages. By Don Futterman This week 17 French citizens were murdered because some people literally can’t take a joke. Artists were martyred for mocking Islam and Islamic extremists, police lost their lives because they were charged with protecting those artists’ right to free speech, and Jews were slain because they were Jews. A joke, for or an instant, inverts the way we look…

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  • 'Nation-state law' may end Arab grip on Jewish-Israeli society [satire]

    Public and private sector Arab leaders in Israel fear the new basic law could threaten their long-standing economic, cultural and political dominance in the Jewish state. (Satire) The Jewish Nation-State law, a new bill that the Netanyahu government is pushing through the Knesset could bring about the end to their political domination over Jews in Israeli society since the state was founded in 1948, Arab leaders are warning. Mohamed el-Rasmi from Sakhnin told +972: “We’re really worried. We’ve been dominating Israeli politics since 1948. What now? We won’t have any more Arab ministers? No Arab minister of defense? Of treasury?…

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  • After ‘chickenshit’ remark, FBI finds traces of ‘truth serum’ in West Wing [satire]

    The FBI has found traces of sodium thiopental in several areas in the White House, causing staff to stop holding back their true feelings on Israel.  Just 24 hours after a senior administration official called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu “chickenshit,” FBI agents found traces of sodium thiopental, also known as the "truth serum," in several areas of the White House. The findings could explain the remarks given to Jeffrey Goldberg in his Atlantic interview. According to FBI agent Dana Mulder, traces of the liquid were found “in the Oval Office as well. We’re still conducting some tests, but it…

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  • When Israel grabs land, the U.S. grabs a thesaurus [satire]

    The U.S. State Department spokesperson and her deputy are finding it difficult to  continue condemning Israeli plans to build more settlements in the West Bank. Marie Harf, Deputy State Department Spokesperson: Hi Jen. Jen Psaki, State Department Spokesperson: Hi Marie, sup? Harf: Not much. Hey, did you see Obama’s suit? Psaki: I know, right?? What’s UP with THAT? Harf: I literally spilled my vente pumpkin spice latte. Psaki: I know, right?? Anyway, sup? Harf: So, the Israelis announced they’re gonna do this huge land appropriation. Psaki: Fuck. Not again. Harf: I know, right?? Psaki: So listen, type me up something…

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  • COMIC: Why even god can't reach a two-state solution

    By Eli Valley More from Eli Valley: A Passover lesson: 'And then we were free' Eli Valley is a writer and artist whose work has been published in New York Magazine, The Daily Beast, Gawker, Saveur, Haaretz and elsewhere. He is currently finishing his first novel. Eli's website is www.EVComics.com and he tweets at @elivalley.

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  • An updated list of Israeli demands from Mahmoud Abbas

    By Nir Baram The following is an updated list of Israeli demands from Mahmoud Abbas: Don’t resign. Fight terrorism. Speak about the Holocaust in a sad tone. Don’t speak about the Nakba. Don’t speak about 1948. Don’t support one state and “the destruction of Israel as a Jewish State.” Recognize Israel. Recognize Israel as a Jewish State. Seek the two-state solution. Join negotiations that lead nowhere. Support the two-state solution. Don’t promote a Palestinian state. Don’t start an intifada. Don’t turn to the international community on behalf of the two-state solution. Fight terror. Denounce terror. Don’t get offended when we…

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  • Bennett goes berserk in response to facts in German

    Jewish Home leader and Economics Minister Naftali Bennett could not stand it when European Parliament President Martin Schulz criticized Israeli policy earlier this week. But what ticked him off even more was that Schulz told “lies,” such as that Palestinians have less water than Israelis - and in German! Apparently, Mr. Bennett can’t bear to hear facts, let alone in the German language. But to make sure, I met with the minister in the Knesset for a quick interview to check this thesis, with the help of Google Translate. The following is the transcript of our (imaginary) meeting: Ami Kaufman: Mr.…

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  • U.S.: 'Ya’alon surprised us - Israel never bit the hand that feeds it before'

    Anonymous sources in the Obama administration have told +972 magazine they have no clue how to respond to Defense Minister Ya’alon’s remarks about Secretary of State Kerry. (Satire) WASHINGTON -- One day after Israeli Defense Minister Moshe (Bogie) Ya’alon said that Secretary John Kerry is “messianic and obsessed,” sources in the U.S. administration told +972 Magazine they “did not see THAT coming. Whoa.” The source said that until now, Israel had always known its place on the totem pole. “They basically owe their existence to us, so that’s why they’ve always done what we’ve asked them to." “For example,” a…

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  • WATCH: U.S. State Department determined to prove that 2+2=5

    +972 Exclusive: The transcript of last week's State Department briefing on Israeli settlement building and U.S. efforts at restarting peace talks with the Palestinians. (Satire) Transcript of above State department press conference (video above): Associated Press: Ma'am, for many years now the common assumption has been that 2+2=4. Yet for some reason, your administration – and the ones before it – continue to say that 2+2=5. In light of growing evidence that the answer is indeed 4, will American policy on this equation change? State Department spokesperson: Again, we are not saying that 2+2 does not equal 4. We’re just…

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+972 is an independent, blog-based web magazine. It was launched in August 2010, resulting from a merger of a number of popular English-language blogs dealing with life and politics in Israel and Palestine.

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