+972 Magazine's Stories of the Week

Directly In Your Inbox

Analysis News
Visit our Hebrew site, "Local Call" , in partnership with Just Vision.

Izzie in HolyLand - Part 17: JAWS!

Izzie has a hunch the Mossad is up to no good again

Photo: Flickr / Willy Volk

Izzie is quietly munching on a Turkish burekas as she suddenly sees a bizarre link on her Facebook page to a news item from the Egyptian media, claiming the Mossad is behind the latest spate of shark attacks in Sinai.

“Speaking on the public TV program “Egypt Today” yesterday, a specialist introduced as “Captain Mustafa Ismael, a famous diver in Sharm El Sheikh,” said that the sharks involved in the attack are ocean sharks and do not live in Egypt’s waters.
When asked by the anchor how the shark entered Sharm El Sheikh waters, he burst out, “no, who let them in?!”

Urged to elaborate, Ismael said that he recently got a call from an Israeli diver in Eilat telling him that they captured a small shark with a GPS planted in its back, implying that the sharks were monitored to attack in Egypt’s waters only.

“Why would these sharks travel 4000 km and not have any accidents until it entered Sinai?” said Ismael.

Earlier today, General Abdel Fadeel Shosha, the governor of South Sinai, backed Ismael’s theory. In a phone call to the TV program, he said that it is possible that Israeli intelligence, Mossad, is behind the incident and that they are doing it to undermine the Egyptian tourism industry. He added that Egypt needs time to investigate the theory.”

Izzie: Ruthie!!! Get Mossad chief Meir Dagan in here right away!
Ruthie: Yes mam!

Dagan walks in 5 minutes later

Dagan: Ms. HolyLand, you called?
Izzie: Sit down, Meir. Do you remember the cabinet meeting we had on Sunday?
Dagan: Sure mam.

Flashback to the cabinet meeting a few days earlier

Izzie: Well, guys, looks like we made it. Obama’s ditching the effort to get another settlement freeze. When it comes to the so called “peace process”, it looks likes it’s all downhill from here. In a way, one could say we’re getting very close to “jumping the shark”.
Dagan: I’ll take care of it, mam.
Izzie: Excuse me?
Dagan: I got it covered.
Izzie: OK, I have no clue what you’re talking about, but I guess you know what you’re doing.
Dagan: Consider it done.

Dagan jumps out of his chair and starts making some calls outside

Back to the present meeting with Izzie

Izzie: You do know what “jumping the shark” means, right?
Dagan: Jumping?
Izzie: Shit, Meir.
Dagan: Sorry, I thought you said “dumping”.

(For more Izzie, press here)

Before you go...

A lot of work goes into creating articles like the one you just read. And while we don’t do this for the money, even our model of non-profit, independent journalism has bills to pay.

+972 Magazine is owned by our bloggers and journalists, who are driven by passion and dedication to the causes we cover. But we still need to pay for editing, photography, translation, web design and servers, legal services, and more.

As an independent journalism outlet we aren’t beholden to any outside interests. In order to safeguard that independence voice, we are proud to count you, our readers, as our most important supporters. If each of our readers becomes a supporter of our work, +972 Magazine will remain a strong, independent, and sustainable force helping drive the discourse on Israel/Palestine in the right direction.

Support independent journalism in Israel/Palestine Donate to +972 Magazine today
View article: AAA
Share article
Print article

    * Required