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Glenn Beck to announce: “Ani Haredi! I am an orthodox Jew!”

Conservative talk-radio host Glenn Beck (photo: Gage Skidmore / CC BY-SA 2.0)

Not to be out-maneuvered by his new partner in the evangelical business, Glenn Beck has decided to raise the stakes in the battle with Pastor John Hagee over who can pander more to the Jews and Israel.

It was only weeks ago, that Hagee invited Beck to the annual Christians United for Israel conference, where Beck had the audacity – on Hagee’s home turf – to declare “I am a Jew!”

Little did Beck know that when he invited Hagee to the “Restoring Courage” event that took place this Sunday in Caesarea, his mentor would fight back in style and shout at a roaring audience “Ani Yisraeli – I am Israeli!”.

Sources close to the two told +972 that after Hagee left the stage, Beck could be seen crying. The sources could not confirm if this was because of Hagee’s move, or just Beck being Beck.

The sources also told +972 that Beck has been constantly re-writing his speech since the Caesarea fiasco and plans on declaring unequivocally tonight that he is in fact not only a Jew, but an orthodox Jew.

A haredi.

From Monsey.

+972 does not have sources close to Glenn Beck or John Hagee. This post is an attempt at satire. Calm down.

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    COMMENTS

    1. Frannie

      OY!!

      Reply to Comment
    2. After Obama vetoes Palestinian statehood in september, he will probable claim to be blacker than Barack.

      Reply to Comment
    3. Vickie

      Now that would be funny.

      It might be a great political move for Obama. Since he’s a Christian everyone think is Muslim to declare himself Jewish. He’ll hit the trifecta.

      Reply to Comment
    4. hofuman

      Maybe he was crying due to the circumcision.
      Oi! with friends like these…

      Reply to Comment
    5. Taoist

      @ AMI,

      You seem to be having fun with the visitors eh?

      It’s quite a story.

      Beck and Hagee are “out-Israeliing” the Israelis!!!

      I.

      Reply to Comment
    6. Taoist

      @ HOFUMAN,

      Maybe he was crying due to the circumcision.

      ————————–

      R.O.T.F.L.M.A.O…

      Now, that is fine Jewish sense of humor. 🙂

      Taoist

      Reply to Comment
    7. aristeides

      All I can think of now is “Ani Anus” – I am an asshole.

      Reply to Comment
    8. dan

      maybe he’ll say “ani Mitnachel,” lol

      Reply to Comment
    9. Danny

      If Glenn Beck were an honest man: “Ani mefager! Ve gam atem mefagrim!!!”

      Reply to Comment