By Nir Baram
The following is an updated list of Israeli demands from Mahmoud Abbas:
Don’t resign. Fight terrorism. Speak about the Holocaust in a sad tone. Don’t speak about the Nakba. Don’t speak about 1948. Don’t support one state and “the destruction of Israel as a Jewish State.” Recognize Israel. Recognize Israel as a Jewish State. Seek the two-state solution. Join negotiations that lead nowhere. Support the two-state solution. Don’t promote a Palestinian state. Don’t start an intifada. Don’t turn to the international community on behalf of the two-state solution. Fight terror. Denounce terror. Don’t get offended when we then call you a supporter of terror. Don’t mention the right of return. Don’t go to the UN. Don’t join international treaties. Don’t declare a state. Don’t leave your office. Don’t oppose settlement blocs. Don’t dismantle the Palestinian Authority. Don’t threaten us. And stop being so uptight. See? People meet, talk, exchange opinions. What’s your problem, exactly?
Nir Baram is an Israeli novelist. His latest book in Hebrew, World Shadow, was published last year by Am Oved.