When a friend condones massacres over a pint

When a friend condones massacres over a pint
Neighbors, panel from comic book creation by Harvey Pekar and Rick Veitch

My girl and I had company for happy hour last night: an old friend of ours and her boyfriend of several months. We bumped into each other on Dizzengoff street, just at a time when many Tel-Avivians seek a beer to wind down, joined forces and started making our way towards the bustly “Ha’arba’ah” Street.

As we walked, I tried to learn more about the boyfriend, whom I know only superficially. I learned that he works in high-tech marketing, lives in north Tel-Aviv and is “developing a taste for sachim” (city-slang for the young bourgeoisie.) I also learned something of his political standings. He is what would be considered a centrist in Israel, and in other countries would be a hawkish right-winger. On the short way to the bar he called his girlfriend “antisemitic” for her left-leaning views.

It was meant humorously, even endearingly, but still was a harsh word. He also commented that Arabs were “not nice people”. Even a sensitive Israeli today must learn to tolerate such comments, or none of us would survive a single cab ride in this country.

When the beers were poured, the conversation somehow trailed to the winter of 2008-2009, that of the war in Gaza. It turned out that the girlfriend, left leaning or “antisemitic” though she might be, took the Israeli side during the war. My girl and I confessed to having protested against Israeli policy and actions during those times.

“Look,” said the boyfriend, “I’m just as merciful as anyone, but if I had a kid, and the neighbor’s kid threw stones into my yard and hit my kid. I would take a grenade launcher and kill that neighbor’s kid’s entire family, his mother and his grandmother included. This is my kid that was hit and I owe them no compassion.”

“You would kill the grandmother?”

“Yes,” said the hip t-shirt clad, Tel-Avivian high-tech professional. “I’d kill everybody.”

“And what would you gain by that?”

“I would annihilate them all, so my kid is never hit again. If I leave one of them standing, my boy’s at risk.”

To be honest, neither of us were surprised. We’ve heard such views before. In fact, that same neighbors’ kid analogy was widespread during the Gaza onslaught. It began as an explanation for Israel’s initial attack. “If someone stoned your kids, would you just stand there?” the apologists would ask. Then it turned out that the Gaza operation was an actual massacre, that 200 Palestinians were killed in it for every Israeli ever killed by a Qassam rocket. At that point, the analogy developed and small-scale, family-sized massacre entered it as a proper response to stone throwing.

Yes, I’m used to all of this, this is how the majority here learned to think and express itself. Still, I became ill to my stomach from the comments and couldn’t really enjoy the rest of my Maredsous Tripel or the plate of charcoutrie we shared. We somehow changed the subject to football, then to technology, then bid our farewells and separated.

When on the street I suddenly had a positive thought. “You know what I should have asked him?” I told my girl, “I should have asked him to imagine that he really does have a son and the son really was hit in the yard, and then ask him whether he sees himself killing an entire family in retaliation, in reality. What do you think he would have said?”

“That he wouldn’t have.”

“That’s right. When it comes to his personal reality, such behaviour is unthinkable, but when his country does it, he lets is happen, he adopts the propaganda babble that makes such actions seem forgivable.”

“That’s right,” she said. “It’s like my brother, I once asked him: look, if you had a red button that could demolish Gaza and kill everyone in it, would you have pushed it? Would you have really?”

“And what did he say?”

“He said he wouldn’t have, but that this is why he votes for the guys who do have the balls.”