(photo: Ami Kaufman)

Last week I went to the Friday demonstration in the West Bank village of Bil’in for the first time.

Some of the people who know me found it hard to believe. “Only now? Next week they will be marking eight years of demos, and only now you come, Ami?”

Yeah. I guess I’m what you call a “couch-leftist.” My battle is done in my home, my sword is my keyboard. I’m proud of that sword, I must say. But for the past year I’ve been feeling it isn’t enough.

I live a privileged life in a suburb of Tel Aviv. Although certainly no comparison to the occupation of Palestine, I live under a “corporate-capitalist occupation” of sorts. Work and family and all the usual stress of living in Israel take its toll, and those four hours every Friday, with my two girls in kindergarten and me and the missus alone, seem like a small window where we can come up and gasp for air.

Go to Bil’in instead of brunch in Tel Aviv? Nuh-uh.

I used to be a much more vibrant demonstrator in my “youth.” I guess I’m losing a bit of that with age, and with the responsibilities that come. My latest “burst” was during the social protests of 2011. As opposed to the occupation, the fight against corporate capitalism brought me to the streets. Sure, they were just a mile away. Not twenty, God forbid.

But for the past few months, I’ve been thinking about Bil’in a lot. I knew I was about to go, but just couldn’t get my act together. And then Emad Burnat and Guy Davidi’s Five Broken Cameras came out, and of course Dror Moreh’s The Gatekeepers, both up for oscars in just a few days.

And it felt like something was coming together. Like it was now or never. So last Thursday I dropped a line to Haggai Matar and told him I want to go to Bil’in, and sure enough he sorted me out. “And bring a scarf,” he reminded me in our email correspondence.

The next morning I sat in the back of a car next to a French activist who was visiting her grandmother in Israel, and an Israeli who just returned from a few years...

The recent success in dealing with racism on the soccer field could be an example of how to deal with the Israel-Palestinian conflict. Except when taking into consideration that an extreme act of violence was ‘needed’ first.

Teddy stadium, where Beitar Jerusalem plays (photo: flickr / Matthew Wilkinson)

My colleague Noam Sheizaf wrote recently about the racism of the Israeli soccer club Beitar Jerusalem. Tensions were running high in the club after it signed two Muslim players from Chechnya, and the hardcore right-wing fans – part of an organization called La Familia – were probably behind the act of arson that took place at the club’s headquarters in Jerusalem. After the arson, the pressure on the club to take care of the racism in its ranks peaked – and apparently bore fruit. Noam uses this example of outside pressure successful in the micro area of the soccer fields, and hints at the macro:

I agree with this assessment wholeheartedly.

But, what interests me even more in this analogy is the question it raises, at least for me: what is the arson attack, on the macro level?

When the arsonists lit the headquarters on fire, many in Israel were laughing at an inside joke. “Burning the club” is a line from a comedy sketch performed by Israel’s leading comedy-trio, Hagashash Hahiver. The following clip is a short commercial for a cable company, which has a recording of those lines from the skit from the 70s, when “burning the club” was first mentioned. Coincidentally, the two characters are a reporter – and a Beitar Jerusalem fan!

The Yes satellite television company is out with a new commercial, that for the past couple of weeks has caused quite the debate on Israeli social networks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXfORXEPfnk

Yesterday, the head of the Naamat organization, a leading women’s movement, wrote to the public appeals ombudsman of Channel 2, demanding the commercial be taken down because it is offensive to women.

I’m not sure I know how to take this commercial. First of all, i just think it’s bad. It’s not funny. At all. And Israelis probably don’t know that the ‘ole mistaking-fat-woman-for-pregnant joke is one of the oldest in the book. When Louis-Dreyfus got this script she must have rolled her eyes, saying “who writes this shit?”

Let’s face it, it’s grotesque laughing at overweight people. But, it just seems so hypocritical to lash out against it in the “reality show” society we live in these days, where viewers are encouraged to laugh and poke at the various contestants who are different than the norm.

What do you think?

Izzie goes comic strip! Does it work? You be the judge.

Do a politician’s musical talents – or lack thereof – say anything about his political capabilities?

I remember the first time I heard Bill Clinton play sax. I mean, I don’t remember exactly where I was, I just remember I was astonished. Pretty much like everybody else, I thought it was pretty cool the Prez was playing sax on Arsenio – with dark Ray Bans. I mean, you watch that video from Arsenio and you know back then there’s no way the Oval Office is going to steer clear of any funny business. No way.

Last night I found out that Yair Lapid plays guitar.

Notice how I didn’t say: “Last night I found out Yair Lapid plays ‘some mean’ guitar.”

There’s a reason for that.

This is it (from 01:15):

I don’t know. There’s something about Lapid’s guitar playing that seems reflective of himself. He’s just kind of parve for me. No real flavor. Like desserts at a kosher wedding. Or those rice crackers people eat on diets.

On the other hand, Yaakov Peri, who you might know (if you’ve seen The Gatekeepers – I hope you did) as a former head of Shin Bet, does play a mean trumpet. This is a fact I’ve known for years, and it’s surprising how most people don’t know this about him – even here in Israel.

Notice how I said “mean trumpet,” as in: an alternative to waterboarding, an interrogation kind of “mean.” Can you imagine that trumpet down in a Shin Bet dungeon?

Bottom line? Clintons they ain’t.

Another day, another case of Israeli soldiers showing the ugly side of the occupation (make that: ‘the only side of the occupation’).

Here’s an incident that happened four years ago and that is now being discussed in the courts. A group of Border Police officers detained a Palestinian man, who appears to be mentally disabled, after he did not bring his ID while trying to cross a checkpoint. The story was reported last week by Channel 2, and I’ve decided to subtitle the video now. Why is this important, you may ask, if it happened four years ago? Simple: because this is the stuff that goes on every day, all over the West Bank. The only reason it’s being reported every once in a while is because someone is dumb enough to film it, and even dumber to put it on the net. Remember Eden Abergil?

Israel’s Hasbara Ministry is starting early these days. ‘Yedioth Aharonoth’ profiles the 10-year-old children who are being trained to ‘make the case for Israel,’ and tests their new skills.

Yeditoth Aharonoth, page 13 (photo: Ami Kaufman)

Yedioth Aharonoth published today a story about two 10-year-olds from Sderot, Noa and Christopher (quite the Jewish name there, eh?) who have been “hired” (the kids volunteered) by the Ministry of Hasbara (Public Diplomacy and Diaspora Affairs Ministry) to explain Israeli positions. After school, the kids went to a special Hasbara course in which they honed their skills in English and practiced standing in front of cameras.

Here are the answers they gave to Yedioth’s “pop quiz”:

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Imagine this:

You’re sitting in the bleachers at a Yankee game. You brought The New York Times with you, just in case things get slow. Or at least for the seventh-inning stretch. You read about how Steinbrenner is considering buying a new player from Haiti, or the Dominican Republic.

Suddenly, you lift your head and see a huge flag hovering over the fans, written in large black print: “NO SPICKS!”

You drop your beer, right?

Well, that’s pretty much what happened during a Beitar Jerusalem game. During a league game last night, Beitar fans rolled out a sign saying, “Beitar, pure forever,” in response to the team’s intention to hire two Muslim players from Chechnya.

Of course, the usual condemnations of politicians and other public figures came. They’re just as useful as U.S. condemnations of settlement expansions. (Even Kahanist Baruch Marzel condemned the act, showing basically any racist can hide behind kind words. Although, in his same Facebook message he promised to come to Beitar’s next game in the Arab city of Umm el Fahm. We’ll be very lucky if this goes by quietly).

I’ve written a few times about the racism of the capital city team, so it’s not really that surprising.

I guess what touches a nerve with most people is the coincidental timing of it all – today being the International Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Here’s what Rabbi Michael Melchior wrote on his Facebook wall about Beitar:

Former journalist Yair Lapid, head of Yesh Atid party (photo: Yotam Ronen / Activestills.org)

There’s no doubt about it – Yair Lapid is the star of these election results. His 19 mandates will most certainly give him and his party a senior position in the next government, likely to be led by Benjamin Netanyahu. But before you go reporting about the upcoming Bibi-Lapid coalition, here are a few post-election and pre-government thoughts.

1) Those crazy coalition talks

Just as Lapid’s unexpected surge happened in the last week before the vote (most polls gave him around 11-12 a few weeks before), the coalition talks can also take some twisty curves. Just today, the two arch-rivals, Ashkenazi-Orthodox party United Torah Judaism and the Sephardi-Orthodox party Shas, told Netanyahu that they will join forces (18 mandates together) in an effort to form a government without Lapid. The length to which the Orthodox will go to prevent their yeshiva boys from doing the military is astonishing.

2) Lapid’s real test begins

I happen to be one of the many who bashed Lapid over the years for being a man with no vision, no platform. But now that the people have shown they want him around, I figure it’s time to give him a chance and judge him by his actions.

What a shame that his first act was to delegitimize 20 percent of the population with a statement that was borderline racism. Less than 24 hours after the results, Lapid said he would not join forces with the “Haneen Zouabis.” Yeah, those Zouabis, who were voted in “democratically” to that same parliament you are going to be in. The evil, evil Zouabis.

3) The disappearance of the the occupation

What I find most interesting is that these elections, finally, were not about the occupation. I’ve always hoped the security/fear narrative would take second place to the issue of what is in my eyes (I know most of my readers don’t agree with me on this) the biggest evil around the world: corporate capitalism, which is responsible for far more death, destruction and poverty.

Unfortunately, Israelis took it too far. They simply ignored the occupation altogether. According to these results, the occupation is not important at all. Neither is...

Stan Greenberg and Arthur Finkelstein are both architects of two of the biggest election flops Israeli politics has ever seen.

First of all, let’s get things straight: these elections results show that the two evils – corporate capitalism and the occupation – will continue to reign supreme.

Yet, there are a few bright sides: mainly, Israel seems to be a bit less fascist. Just a tad. For example, Aryeh Eldad and Michael Ben Ari will not be in the Knesset (as of 99% of vote counted). Good riddance.

Also, there will be many more women in parliament than before, and more social activists. Over 50 new MKs will be sworn in – that’s quite a change.

But for me, I’m particularly happy about one thing that has ticked me off for years and will hopefully come to an end: the meddling of American advisers in Israeli elections.

Why are these people here to begin with? Let’s face it, it’s not their fault. It’s the people who hire them, still believing that those guys from the Goldena Medina must know better about everything, anywhere. Even on their own home turf.

So, is it true? Do they understand Israelis better than we do ourselves?

Let’s see:

Stan Greenberg: The polls at certain points had Labor well over 20 seats, yet they ended with a mere 15 seats (99% of the vote counted). A mere two seats more than the all-time low that Ehud Barak was responsible for. It takes American genius to only get two more seats after the social protests that should have boosted Labor sky high, if they had played their cards right.

Arthur Finkelstein: According to reports, Finkelstein (who left the country just days before the election) was the architect of unifying Likud and Yisrael Beiteinu, worth 42 seats back then. They’ve dropped to 33, maybe less (99% of the vote counted).

A word to Stan and Arthur: Go home, and stay home.

A word to Israeli parties: Go local. And grow up. The fetish with everything American is so 80s.

Less than 48 hours to vote, and I still haven’t decided.

Ballot slips from 2009 Knesset elections (Photo: Michal Barel / Creative Commons licence)

The first time I voted I was a soldier in the Israeli Navy. It was 1992, and I remember being all excited about taking part in the democratic process. I walked over the plank of my missile boat towards a decaying building on shore, and in greasy hands proudly voted for Yitzhak Rabin.

So much has happened since that first vote of mine: to me, to Israelis, to Palestinians. But one thing hasn’t changed, the occupation. Back then, the occupation had a certain temporal feel to it, as if it was something that could be fixed if intentions were sincere. Now, after 45 years, there seems to be nothing temporary about the occupation. Quite the opposite.

I myself veered slightly more to the left as the years went on, voting for Meretz in each of the following elections.

But now even that has changed. These will be my first elections as a non-Zionist. Coming from a guy who as a teenager had a poster of Ehud Barak hanging in his room – one has to appreciate the fundamental changes I’ve been through.

As someone whose relatives were massacred in Europe, giving up on Zionism is frightening for me. But my becoming a non-Zionist is somewhat of an outcome, not exactly a choice. I compare it to the difference between the two-state solution to the one-state solution – the latter not a solution at all, yet an outcome. Especially an outcome of the most recent Israeli and American policies of the past four years, which have essentially killed off the two-state solution.

Therefore, as I now believe there will only be one state from the river to the sea – as there is now (only one entity truly rules this land currently), I no longer believe in fighting for “peace.” I believe in fighting for human rights, for civil rights, for equality, dignity and justice.

My colleague Noam Sheizaf recently articulated precisely how I feel about the upcoming vote:

Leader of the National Religious Party (“Jewish Home”) Naftali Bennett (photo: Yotam Ronen / activestills.org)

As Benjamin Netanyahu rakes in endorsement after endorsement, first from Donald Trump and later today from Chuck Norris, his rival in the right wing bloc, Naftali Bennett (Bayit Yehudi) scored a huge run by getting the support of no other than Yigal Amir, the man who murdered Yitzhak Rabin.

Lately, his brother Hagai (whom +972 interviewed here in the first – and only – interview he gave since his release from jail earlier this year) has been fooling around on Facebook, holding joking discussions about the murder and other topics. Many of the people he talks with, most of them left wingers, play along and joke around with him too. (This activity might be worth a post later, I’ve heard a few views about it that are interesting.)

Today, Hagai was fooling around with Ariel Waysman, who managed to get some interesting info out of him. In the interview with me, Hagai said he has no intention of voting, as he does not have any faith in the Israeli political system. Here’s what he told Ariel:

UPDATE (23:25): After Hagai’s dialogue with Waysman was picked up by mainstream media, including Israel’s Channel 2 news station, he posted the following status on Facebook:

Channel 2 news reports that the mother of the two, Geula, said that Yigal indeed asked the family to support Bennett’s party. The party itself told Channel 2 that it is not interested in any kind of support whatsoever from the Amir family.