An updated list of Israeli demands from Mahmoud Abbas

By Nir Baram

The following is an updated list of Israeli demands from Mahmoud Abbas:

Don’t resign. Fight terrorism. Speak about the Holocaust in a sad tone. Don’t speak about the Nakba. Don’t speak about 1948. Don’t support one state and “the destruction of Israel as a Jewish State.” Recognize Israel. Recognize Israel as a Jewish State. Seek the two-state solution. Join negotiations that lead nowhere. Support the two-state solution. Don’t promote a Palestinian state. Don’t start an intifada. Don’t turn to the international community on behalf of the two-state solution. Fight terror. Denounce terror. Don’t get offended when we then call you a supporter of terror. Don’t mention the right of return. Don’t go to the UN. Don’t join international treaties. Don’t declare a state. Don’t leave your office. Don’t oppose settlement blocs. Don’t dismantle the Palestinian Authority. Don’t threaten us. And stop being so uptight. See? People meet, talk, exchange opinions. What’s your problem, exactly?

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Nir Baram is an Israeli novelist. His latest book in Hebrew, World Shadow, was published last year by Am Oved.